You need to sit down and really dig and find your passion! – Random Guru
There are ways to find and/or choose your passion, which I’ve discussed.
But what if you have no passion?
Being told you need to have a passion is what makes someone miserable. It’s like being a gay male and asked which girl you like best? You can explore all the girls, go on lots of dates, and sit down and meditate on whether you like blondes or brunettes.
It’s all stupid advice and it makes those people with no passion miserable.
You don’t need passion to be happy. Just like some people are OCD, obsessed with certain things, and prone to being highly emotional more so than others. Some people simply aren’t deeply passionate about something.
You are in 1 of 4 States of Passion:
1) Passion Denying. Example: You know you’re passionate about construction, but your family doesn’t think it’s prestigious enough, so you deny yourself pursuing that passion.
2) Passion Seeking. Example: You want to try a lot of different things still like swimming, painting, programming, etc and don’t know which one of those things you will naturally like. Exploring things you may be naturally good at. This process is based on unconscious stories too, since Mother Teresa may not consciously realize she was passionate about helping hobos in reality because her parents said they’d love her more if she helped people.
3) Passion Choosing. Example: Rockefeller wasn’t passionate about a black gooey liquid (oil). He chose to see that he was passionate about making the choice (and belief) that oil would help the world. Passionate about making money. Passionate about destroying his competition to feel better about himself. All of these things are choices, and passion via choice is rooted in a belief. And beliefs are just stories we’ve CHOSEN to believe. This process is based in both conscious and unconscious aspects.
4) Passion Absent. Example: You’ve tried lots of stuff and nothing grabs your attention. Depression can be a chemical imbalance, which often results in people not being interested in any activity really. Sometimes, not having a passion about something is just not in your wiring. When you hear that, you will have 1 of 3 reactions:
1) You’re liberated from not having to have this “burning desire that gets you jumping out of bed every day.” You’re happy to be you, and move every day through life enjoying the small things that other people miss. You’re easily pleased and content to not be obsessed about stuff. Congrats – you’re probably some Zen guru if you’re truly like this.
2) You’re depressed at the idea that there’s nothing out there that you’ll be passionate about. If you’re not content with not having this crazy passion everyone is talking about, then you may be actually depressed overall. You can’t find passion in anything if you’re sad about a meaningless life.
3) You’re actually still in one of other 3 states of passion (eg. Denying, Seeking, Choosing) and need more time to explore those.
Most passion absent people are probably in a low level combination of all 3 of the reactions to realizing they’re passionless. They’re a little melancholy, a little interested in something, and have made a choice about their passion but it’s not a very compelling choice. But just like being crazy in love with someone, some people just don’t ever feel like that. It doesn’t mean their relationship they have currently is bad because it doesn’t match up to this avalanche of emotions that other people are raving about. So latch onto the following words:
It’s ok to be passionless. As long as you’re happy. But if you’re not happy and passionless – you may be in passion denial, or haven’t sought passion out enough, or haven’t realized that passion is a choice we make via a story we decide to believe. And finally, you may be depressed, which is a separate discussion than finding your passion.
Finding your passion isn’t a cure for depression. Curing depression will allow you to find your passion.
Can you feel good about not being passionate? Where are you in your state of passion?