Science or BS: You’re the average of the 5 people you hang around with? It’s a little bit science, a little magic, and a little vague too.
Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins’ mentor, said you’re the average of the 5 people you hang around with. The easiest example was to consider those 5 people’s income that you hang around and average it out – that’s very likely your income.
There’s truth to this statement, but it’s also not quite right.
It’s not stated how long it takes for this to occur first off. And “hanging around” isn’t real clear either. For example, James Altucher says it’s the 5 people in your mind, the people you think about, that matters the most. Another guru said that if you’re chatting with these people online, it counts. Which if you’re talking to someone online, they inherently have to be on your mind to a degree. And then finally, Shawn Stevenson author of Sleep Smarter, talks about how brain waves match up with one another when they’re talking with each other in the same room. There appears to be some magic of proximity here too.
Maybe it’s all a big hack, because the people you work with are likely the 5 people you’re around most often, and if you’re working together, you likely have similar salaries. Maybe Jim Rohn noticed an obvious thing like this, made it a big vague and “mystical” sounding, and left the audience to find their own reasons why. “It’s brain waves and the universe!” or “It’s because they have the same mentality!” or whatever, and we’ve just run with it since then.
If money is your world, you’d never hang around anyone that’s poorer than you, else there’s be a ‘magic’ pay cut coming for you in some undisclosed amount of time. Money isn’t everything though, and maybe that someone that’s not as rich as you might have more integrity, health, or love in their life than you, and that brings you up in some way in that regard.
Let’s pretend it’s definitely right, for whatever reason that may be, then the goal is to simply be around these people in a real way such that you’re interacting with them. We presume that it’s not only proximity, but having a deeper relationship with these people. This is why house cleaners for the rich and famous don’t all get rich a year later – they never become friends with their boss.
A lot of times you can get your foot in the door by giving first by providing value, and asking (and expecting) nothing in return. Clearly, you have to pick the right people to do this with, otherwise you get abused / taken advantage of. This works quite a bit, but it can put you in the ‘house maid’ category while working for free. Not good.
I’d be willing to speculate that it’s not about brain waves (although that’s assuredly a factor), or even proximity (like the maid), but really about being friends with these people. And the best way to be friends with people outside of your socioeconomic circle is not by sucking up or whatever, but by trying to provide value for long enough around them that the possibility of developing a friendship. You’re not asking for a hand out from these people, you’re looking to be legitimate friends with them. Faking it and going through the motions isn’t going to work in this ‘magic’ sort of sense of things Rohn is talking about.
So, here’s the obvious formula for friend filled wealth that I’ve never seen clearly stated:
- Figure a lifestyle you’d like (eg. work all the time and make billions vs work very little and make $100k),
- Find the people that are living a life similar to what you’d like,
- Find a way to be friends with these people by usually providing value at first.
How many other casual observations are we glazing over that you can make into simple and obvious formulas like the one above?