“Sit down and think about what you really want, write it down, and go after it!” – Typical guru.
Why is it that people that achieve their goals aren’t always satisfied? Did they not really think about what they love before pursuing it? No. The reason is sitting down and thinking about the things you love rarely works because your mind is lying to you a lot of the time.
We’re like Pavlov’s dogs.
The problem is that the things you ACTUALLY love are muddled and twisted with things you don’t love. A book lover thinks they love the smell of a book, the weight of the book in their hand, the sensation of turning the page. But they don’t. They love the ideas flowing into their brain – that’s what they love. If a book came with a different smell, and was weightless, and a tap of the foot turned the page, they’d think they loved all those things instead. They don’t. They love the ideas.
The problem is the brain anchors and associates things surrounding something you love to make them all feel loved equally.
You don’t really like the smell of a cigar, you like being reminded of grandpa reading to you while he smoked. You don’t really like the snow, you like not having to go to school that day. You don’t really like making a million bucks, you liked hearing your dad say he was proud of you.
Like a Pavlovian dog chasing the sound of a ringing bell that makes them salivate, they get all the bells in the world into their life and wonder what’s missing. They never loved the bell – they loved the food.
What you think you love, you probably don’t. Your mind has been lying for a very long time and associating meaningless things to something that you DO love.
What is it that you actually love at the core? What is something you thought you loved but is really just an association from something you truly love?